What’s More Important: Truth or Love?



Yesterday I asked for your input on two theology quotes. Earlier today I provided my own input on the first of these two quotes. Here is the second:

It has been in vogue to say that today the important thing is not Christianity’s truth but its relevance. That is like saying to the sick that the important thing is not the accuracy of the prescription, but taking the medicine. In determining which of the innumerable kinds of medicine to take, how much, and how often, nothing is more important than the accuracy of the doctor’s prescription.

This quote is from Integrative Theology by Gordon Lewis and Bruce Demarest (p. 47).

Though they speak of accuracy vs. relevance, the options are often presented as “truth vs. love” (Eph 4:15), or “grace vs. truth” (John 1:14, 17). Ideally, of course, both would be nice, but if we have to err on one side or the other, it is often argued (as in the quote above) that we must lean toward truth and accuracy.

Truth vs. Love

I have often taught this way as well.

In the first church I pastored, I preached that the Bible teaches us to speak the truth in love, but if you were going to overemphasize one side or the other, it was better to emphasize truth. Why? Because untruth, I argued, was unloving. Therefore, emphasizing love at the expense of truth is actually hateful.

That, it seems to me, is kind of what Lewis and Demarest are saying above with the image of the medicine. Who cares how loving the doctor is if he gives you the wrong medicine? What is most important is a truthful diagnosis and an accurate prescription.

What is wrong with this? Nothing really…except that it allows people to do and say the most horrendous things in the name of “truth.” And as I have already argued, truth which does not lead you to love, is not truth at all.

Without Love, Truth is Suspect

I understand that a false diagnosis and an inaccurate prescription may do more harm to the patient, but a doctor who does not love the patient or care about the patient and genuinely desire that they get well, will likely not accurately diagnose the sickness or prescribe a medicine.

My wife recently went to a doctor about some health problems she was experiencing, and it quickly became obvious to her that he did not care to hear about her symptoms, take the time to answer her question, or explain to her what was happening. All he did was offer her a small packet of prescription slips which he was certain would take care of a problem he had seen a thousand times before.

My wife was a little hesitant to take prescriptions offered so callously, but trusting his professional, expert opinion, did so anyway. While some of her conditions improved, several others grew worse, and she also began exhibiting several new conditions. We did a little research online, and the doctor had given her the exactly wrong prescription to help her problem.

Why did this happen? Because the doctor didn’t care about Wendy enough to listen to her and spend a few extra minutes finding out about her and her symptoms. He wrote out a few prescriptions, and walked away, thinking he had solved another case, when in fact he had failed miserably, because he lacked the prerequisite love.

Not Truth or Love…

How often do we quote the truth at people, giving them a verse, or a pamphlet, or a book, thinking we have solved another problem, saved another soul, when in fact, we have only made the problem worse? Truth, if it does not come from love and lead to love, is not truth, but a lie.

…But Truth in Love

speaking the truth in loveHere’s the point: I don’t think we can choose between “truth and love” or “accuracy and relevancy.” One without the other perverts the one that is emphasized. Truth without love is harsh judgmentalism and dogmatism. Love without truth is blind sentimentality. But truth in love is compassionate concern.

If you cannot speak truth in a loving way, then it is not true. It is only from a position of love that you can speak the truth and seek the good of the person to whom you speak it.

True truth is loving, and real love is truthful. You cannot divorce the two. If you find yourself justifying what you are going to say or do “in the name of truth” or “in the name of love” you are probably being neither truthful nor loving.

When it comes to truth and love, don’t be content to err on one side or the other. The way of God, the way of Jesus, and the proper way of theology is to speak the truth in love. If one or the other is missing from your theology or your teaching, it would be best to keep your mouth shut.


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  • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

    The irony of the timing of this post and a comment that appeared on another post is too good to miss:

    Check out this comment.

    • http://www.graceground.com Sam

      He was baiting you, trying to get more fodder for his rant. Somehow you must have really po’d this guy.

      • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

        I remember talking to him on the phone some, but don’t remember hanging up on him as he accuses me of doing.

        I don’t think I’ve ever met him, but he certainly seems to have placed me in his little “heretic” box. Oh well.

    • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

      Rahab? Case by case? I don’t understand.

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    “Because untruth, I argued, was unloving. Therefore, emphasizing love at the expense of truth is actually hateful.”

    Best sentence in the post right there. So wise.

    • http://www.mop.blogspot.com FedExMOP

      Elias,

      One of the beauties fo the Bible is that its characters are real, warts and all.

      Abraham was a liar(told the king Sarah was his sister).

      David was a adulterer and murderer.

      Rahab lied, but we are never even told she repented of her harlotry.

      The beauty of these lives, and the point of Hebrews 11 is that all of them and all of us are saved by faith in the then promised, now delivered Messiah. That once they believed in Gods promised deliverence, their sin was no longer what defined them, but rather the righteousness of the Messiah credited to their account before God. Just some thoughts.

      FedEx,
      President,
      Men of Praise Motorcycle Ministry

      • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

        I would agree with the direction you are going here. Thanks!

  • http://mopcolorado.blogspot.com FedExMOP

    Jeremy,

    I think this is a very inportant reminder. We are called to both, not one or the other. Just like you I was raised that being hurtfully truthful was better than being lovingly deceptive. It has taken me a long time to see that we really can have both truth, and love.

    I have also learned that when my truth does not result in me becoming more loving, I should go back and re-evaluate that truth. So often we cling to our understanding of what is true(knowing that all of us understand truth imperfectly), even as we see it destroying relationships all around us.

    FedEx,
    President,
    Men of Praise Motorcycle Ministry

  • http://www.graceground.com Sam

    Every time I hear someone say “speak the truth in love”, they think that gives them the right to say whatever they please, and it is n-e-v-e-r loving. Apparently their “truth” is something they invented.

    I am intrigued that the people I know who use that statement all also frequently quote “hate the sin, love the sinner”(this is NOT from the Bible), except they don’t possess any love for the people who fit their definition of “sinner”.

    • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

      I hear that “hate the sin, love the sinner” thing all the time too. And you are right, there is rarely any love for the person, but instead, and constant reminder of what a “sinner” they are, and how they can only be “accepted into the community” once they get rid of the hated sin.

      This is not real love.

  • Swanny

    Jeremy,

    This is an interesting topic…

    Read what Albert Mohler wrote in the Wall Street Journal.

    I posted it on my new blog. Check it out, I would love your comments.

    Is Albert speaking the truth in love?

    http://www.abnormalreaction.wordpress.com

    Swanny

    • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

      I read your post and Al Mohler’s.

      I did not sense anger or hate in Mohler’s post. I think his opening statement is blatantly false, that homosexuality is shaking the foundations of the church. Pastors said the same thing during the Civil Rights movement (not that the two are identical).

      I definitely agree with him that Christians have been afraid to take on the issue where it is most difficult – face to face.

      I think that nobody should condemn anyone else unless they personally know and have a relationship with several people who are in the “category” of those they want to condemn. If you can condemn your friends, then fine, condemn the whole group. But otherwise….

      In the end, I agree with what you wrote. Mohler seems to see only one way out: all gays must become straight in obedience to the Gospel. Ironically, this statement comes right after he criticizes many Christian solutions as being crude and simplistic!

  • Swanny

    I read a great book about this subject… “Love is an Orientation” I do not agree 100% with Marin, but I will tell you what.. it completely opened my eyes on the subject.

    I HIGHLY recommend it!

    • http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

      I’ve read it too. I agree: It was great!

    • http://graceground.com Sam

      Andrew is a friend. Check out his blog. LGBTs are some of his favorite people. Mine as well. If I had to choose between spending the rest of my life on a very remote desert island populated with Christians or one populated with LGBTs, guess which one I’d pick?

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