By Jeremy Myers Filed Under Bible Commentary, Discipleship, Jesus, Luke Written on April 17, 2011

Should New Believers Party with Old Friends?

It is interesting to compare conversations we have with new believers to those that Jesus with His new followers.

Here is how conversations usually go today between a New Believer (NB) and an Experienced Pro (EP):

EP: It’s been good seeing you in church. Are you learning a lot?
NB: Oh, yeah! I’ve been reading my Bible every day, just like pastor said I should. I’ve seen God answer a lot of my prayers, and lots of people here in church are so friendly.
EP: Good, good. We’re always here for you if you ever need anything or have any questions.
NB: You know, now that you mention it, I do have a question.
EP: Sure, what is it?
NB: Well, some of my friends are having a party next weekend, and they’ve invited me to go. Usually, before I became a Christian, I would party every weekend. But now, I haven’t been to one in a while, and my friends are starting to wonder what happened to me. I had a lot of really good friends, and I would kind of like to go to the party. Do you think I should go?
EP: Hmmm. Well, will there be beer at the party?
NB: Yeah. Lots of it.
EP: How about drugs, dancing, and sex?
NB: Well, of course people are going to dance, and some will probably hook up afterwards. There might be a few people with drugs, but it’s not like in the movies where there are piles of cocaine on the coffee table.
EP: Do you think that as a Christian, you should be getting drunk, doing drugs, and having sex with strangers?
NB: Well, no, but I’m not planning on doing that. I just want to hang out with my friends.
EP: Uh-huh. Tell me something. When you went to these parties before, did you drink, have sex, and do drugs?
NB: Well….yeah.
EP: So there is a good chance that if you go to this party, you will fall back into your old sinful habits, and will end up doing the same things you did before. You can’t do that now. You’re a follower of Jesus. You need to turn your back on the past, reject your sinful ways, and live your new life in Christ.
NB: I suppose you’re right. I guess I’ll have to tell my friends I can’t make it.
EP: You know what? We’re having a pot luck and board game night here at the church on Friday night. It is always lots of fun. Why don’t you come and invite a few of your friends to the party here instead?
NB: I don’t know if my friends would want to do that, but I guess I could ask.
EP: Yep. It never hurts to ask! See you on Friday.

Now, here is how a similar conversation might go with Jesus and one of his New Followers (NF):

Jesus: I’m glad you joined with us. I like hanging out with you.
NF: Yeah, Jesus, me too!
Jesus: You look like you’ve got something on your mind.
NF: Well, some of my friends are having a party next weekend, and they’ve invited me to go. Usually, before I started following you, I would go to one of these almost every weekend. But now, I haven’t been to one in a while, and my friends are starting to wonder what happened to me. I had a lot of really good friends, and I would kind of like to go to the party. Do you think I should?
Jesus: Absolutely you should go, but on one condition.
NF: What’s that?
Jesus: Can I come?
NF: Sure! You go to parties?
Jesus: I love parties. Did I tell you about the time when I was at a party and they ran out of wine, so I made 150 more gallons of it?
NF: What? You did that? Wow. My friends are gonna love you!
Jesus: I hope so. I truly hope so.

So let me ask: Which approach is better, and what are the pros and cons of each? Do you think that parties in the time of Jesus were so different from parties of today that Jesus would attend parties then, but not attend parties now?

This post is based on the Grace Commentary for Luke 5:27-32.

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A Brief History of the Sabbath-to-Sunday Transition

Why Jesus Obeyed Jewish Law

You Cannot Reform Religion

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keri

interesting post!– of course i think Jesus would go to the parties now. how could he possibly reach anybody sitting in the temple playing board games with the disciples. the first conversation (NB & EP) is so typical of evangelical thinking these days and it is really ineffective. in fact, in our sermon this morning the asst. pastor said that he much preferred his church family over his real family (because they are unbelievers) -and that we should prayerfully consider who we hang out with as well (lest we be tainted). last month our pastor apologized to the congregation at least 5 times for going to a certain restaurant (with a bar) to listen to a friend of his play in a band. he had to keep qualifying it and telling us why he was there. i think he was afraid someone might have spotted him sitting at the bar –gasp!- (having a soda he assured us). personally i refuse to put myself in a christian bubble. obviously i have to find a new church…

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Sitting in the temple playing board games. I loved that. Can you imagine?!

I know what your pastor was feeling. It sounds like he has a good heart with good intentions, as many pastors might not even meet with someone in a bar. But he was also concerned about the people in your church and what they might think. We have put our pastors into a terrible bind where we expect them to reach out to others, but not in any way that might appear to some people as “sinful.”

http://antwrites.com Ant Writes

This is great. I’ve come along way. Having been a pastor, and then leaving the IC, I have seen Christ in a new way. However, I’m still not so sure I’d give the NB the advice to party hearty. It all depends on how new the believer is. Have they heard the TRUE gospel? Have they been discipled?

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Ant Writes… I didn’t know you had a website I’ll come check it out. … Hmm. It’s not loading for me. I’ll try again later.

Anyway, yes, this was part of my concern also. You don’t want to send someone back into a den of wolves. However, this might be why Jesus went with the new believer. He does not send them back into their old ways on their own. What do you think? Today, this would probably mean us going with the person to their parties, as long as we could go without judging. What do you think?

http://antwrites.com Ant Writes

Well, there are a couple of paradoxes in the Bible. We’re told not to judge, and we’re also told to judge by Paul. How else can we tell a fellow believer who is in the middle of moral sin to stop? Do we just let him do it? Of course, if we were at the bar with him, we can drink if we choose to partake, but if he’s ready to do a couple of lines, we’d HAVE to inform him. Hebrews 3 says “exhort one another daily, while it is called today”

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Yes, this is a good, balanced approach.

http://antwrites.com Ant Writes

I was the pastor for Long Island teen challenge, and while drugs in and of themselves aren’t sinful (I’ve tried to find them in the Bible , and besides “pharmakia”, it’s really not there), it’s the idolatry of it that is sinful. But we all have idolatry in our lives. Whether we are workaholics, couch potatoes, or internet addicts or what have you, it’s a spiritual problem. I know the toll of drug addiction (I was not one, but I’ve seen the havoc it wreaks), and I think it’s a form of demon possession,but then again, I haven’t been able to find biblical proof. Nyquil is a drug too, so where do we draw the line? Hmm..I may blog about this….

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Anthony,
For some reason, I cannot access your site. Is it down today?

Kirk

I drank a beer while reading this. *gasp*

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Well now, we know Jesus drank wine, but beer? I draw the line there…

Sam

This probably varies from person to person. Just as I am not tempted to be a glutton when I’m around gluttons, partying with people who choose to drink, do drugs, discuss politics, or whatever it is they’re doing does not make me want to do those things. On the other hand, if I knew couldn’t resist those behaviors when in the company of people who are displaying them, I would choose to spend my time elsewhere. For me, the question is how well does NB know himself.

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Yes, that is definitely something to consider.

http://antwrites.com Ant Writes

My site had some connectivity issues..I’m drinking a beer rigth now, but when I was a pastor, my denomination didn’t allow us to drink..ever. Do you know how I got relieved of the legalism? My wife and I went to an Organic Church conference in Germany and Frank Viola was the main speaker, and they rented out a church building and they had beer bottle openers on the wall to open the beer the passed out! After session 1 of the conference, we all went to a Biergarten! My wife looked at me and we stated laughing. How silly we were!

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

I have some German relatives, and they helped loosen me up too.

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My friend fell into this a couple years ago. It’s hard to associate with your “old” friends because they are still living the way they are before he became a Christian. I believe that bad company corrupts good character. This is a great topic because it’s hard to let go of those who have been there for us since we were younger, but people change and some for the better.

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

How is your friend doing? It is hard to go back to old friends with bad habits and sinful ways. Do you think it would have helped if a spiritually mature Christian friend went along with him to hang out with these old friends? This is what Jesus did with Levi.