Have you ever noticed that in many areas of Christianity, those of us who proclaim “grace” the loudest, are often the least gracious in our dealings and interactions with others?” It’s ironic, for we have become legalistic about grace!
If we truly know what grace is, why is it that we Christians are generally the least gracious people on earth? Here are three examples to show you what I mean:
Example 1
My wife Wendy first experienced this back in college. She was in a Sorority at Northern Illinois. Her friends in the Sorority all looked out for each other, supported each other, cared for each other, and were generally willing to overlook the faults of one another so they could be “sisters.” Wendy was welcomed in and immediately became part of the family.
Wendy, however, had grown up Lutheran, and so near the end of her first year at college, decided to attend one of the local Christian clubs on campus for a mid-week Bible study. But Wendy made the mistake of wearing her Sorority jacket to the Bible study. Though she brought her Bible and knew all the songs, nobody greeted her, talked to her, or made her feel welcome. Instead, she was visibly shunned.
Not surprisingly, she didn’t go back. We can’t be certain, but Wendy feels the reception would have been much different if she hadn’t identified herself with a Sorority.
I wonder how many people coming into our churches feel the same way? In many churches, the people who walk through the doors feel judged and condemned, especially if they don’t look like us, talk like us, or act like us. A while back, I ran an experiment to see.
Example 2:
Right now, I am growing my hair out. It covers my ears and looks a little shaggy. A while back, when visiting a church, I wore jeans, a grey t-shirt with holes in it, and a baseball hat, just to see how I would be received. I didn’t bring my Bible. Nobody greeted me. Nobody shook my hand. During the sermon, nobody offered me a Bible.
I returned the very next week wearing slacks, a tie, and carrying a big Bible under my arm. I must have been greeted by 20 people in 10 minutes, and nobody said “good to see you again.” They didn’t recognize me as a second-time visitor! I now fit in with the kind of person they wanted in their church, and so I received a warm welcome. I was handed whole reams of literature. Someone personally took me up and introduced me to the pastor. I guess I was now a “keeper.”
I didn’t go back.
Example 3:
A few years ago, I started reading a blog called de-conversion. It appears that the contributors are all former Christians. Among other things, they write about why they have left Christianity. Generally, they do not appear bitter or angry. Every single post is full of grace, love, concern, kindness, and mercy. Sadly, the authors have not received the same treatment from Christians. The only angry and spiteful comments on the blog are from Christians who get angry at what is written.
So I say, “Shame on us.” It’s pretty bad when, despite all our Bible study, prayer, and theological reading and writing, we have to learn about grace from those who don’t believe in God, who have been kicked out of our churches, and who feel only judgment and condemnation from us.
Do you have any examples from your own life? Do you have any suggestions on how followers of Jesus can learn to live more graciously?
