Thanks for the comments and encouragement.

Regarding your question about a forum, I had such a forum for a while at freegracechurches.org, but no one was using it, so I let it drop. I think there might be one at freegracealliance.org, but I don’t know how many people use it. I am currently operating gracecommentary.com, which has a forum, but it is not solely for fg people. It is a fledgling website, and not much is on it yet. I hope you find something that fits your needs…if not, go ahead and start one!

I hope your beginning to see some light. I trust everything is going to be good in the long run. Actually, I am much more calvinist-like regarding how a persons life moves along AFTER they have been born again (whosoever believeveth in HIM). “fOR we know that the whole creation GROWNETH together until now. …ourselves GROANETH AND TRAVAILETH IN PAIN Together until now. For we are saved by hope, but hope that is seen is not hope……and we know that all things work together for good to those who love GOD, who are called according to His purpose.” and Paul goes on in context. ROMANS 8
You wrote “I’ve gone through several “Dark Nights” in my life. And while I used to believe this “Don’t doubt in the dark” slogan, I am beginning to question it’s wisdom. In the first place, who defines “dark”? ”

Who defines doubt also. All I know is that our Dear FATHER would prefer 100,000 children honestly facing the realities in their lives, and those that they love, and questioning their creator and redeemer, even in anger, even enraged; compared to the painted on joy and piety that many church goers EXHIBIT.
Russ Taff wrote “I shook my fist upon the skies and on most of those who love me….but a Father’s eye can always see right through. and a Fathers heart can tell when tears are true. Now I’m standing on this road your hand has brought me to. Your faithful love will lead me farther on”. The music to this is beautiful.
I aposticized as a babe in Christ, because I couldn’t have my own way. I am the prodical son. I Know Father wants me to be real with HIM.

I don’t know if the situation you opened with is current or in the past now, but I know that if more Christians would share their struggles and doubts honestly, the would not only open the door for brothers and sisters to stand in the gap for them in prayer and encouragement, but they would also encourage another struggling soul that what they are going through is real, and that they are not alone.

I am in need of a fg forum that is open for just this sort of discussion: open topic, or multi-topic threads that allow fg folks to share common questions, and struggles, to encourage one another, share ideas, and pray for one another.
Is this that place?
Do you know of such a place?
If no on both counts, then I will by God’s grace open just such a place.

Thank You again Jeremy
and
God Bless you and yours,

Duane

Thanks for the testimony and wonderful reminder.

Psalm 84 – Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God….than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

One day with God, no matter what we are doing, is better than thousands of the best days without Him.

Thanks!

I thank God for your transparency. It has been noted that in the geneologies, the Gospels and the old testement hero stories, God included the warts. None of us has lived the “beautiful life”.

I am no pastor, I am FG, but several, no, ten years ago I got up from a sleepless night and well, lets eves drop on what that young man of 39 was thinking and began to write down:
At 3:00 a.m. I think or begin to pray: Father I praise you for….. [blank]. Thanks Father for…..[blank]. (sometimes problems like failure can eclipse blessings…Jesus and salvation just like the moon eclipses the much larger sun). So I began to think about FATHER: What makes GOD our FATHER? HE is the perfect Father. How could HE be the perfect father? His Son was not conceived as other children are: in sweat and sin. HE is not human, flesh and blood. He is not even a REAL father.
In fact HE was called Father before creation. In fact the fatherhood of Adam with his first son Cain was a “type” of the Fatherhood of God. And so every father since creation is a “type” or example of FATHER GOD. All imperfect to one degree or another, but all “types” of the Perfect Father.
Conceiving a child in sweat and sin (original sin) has nothing to do with fatherhood except in recalling:
3. Reunion- two shall be one flesh.
2. Two from one: God made eve from Adam, so Adam described her as “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” and
1. Creation- Original Unity: So GOD created man in His image. In the image of God created HE him. Male an Female created HE them. and so “typifies” the unity of God and also Christ and the Church.

So “father” is not a description of GOD. FATHER IS GOD. GOD Is FATHER.
The fatherness of a human father, however flawed, is just a way for GOD to reveal Himself. The Perfect Father is…(all descriptions fall short)….GOD.
It is 3:20 a.m. and I conclude that FATHER was father to Jesus, before Bethlehem, Before David, before Israel or Adam or creation. Before creation God was FATHER. “God symbollically was Father to Jesus in anticipation of Bethlehem?” No. In truth. In reallity, 100%. God was FATHER to JESUS before Creation (John 17:5). In truth, not just prophetically. “Just before creation”? No. “5 billion years before creation?”
Always. JESUS is eternally GOD’s Son. In eternity Past, Present and Future, FATHER IS FATHER To His SON.

[PARENTHETIC] “PEEKING THROUGH THE VAIL”
Eternity past is a long time. The vail of our flesh will not allow it (if so be that we are subject to the flesh). Everytime I try to conceive of God in eternity past, I hit a stumbling block. “There must have been a starting point”. Not. FATHER, SON and HOLY SPIRIT have always been; and there has never been a time when they were not FATHER, SON and HOLY SPIRIT. Anyhow seems like GOD would have invented something to pass the time until time for creation arrived. (I often think absurdly that GOD would have practiced first, or at least set up a simulation to see how it would work out. Silly! GOD Is Perfect! He got it all right from the first thought (oops! There was no “first” thought). So might GOD have created else before creation? Eternity past before creation seems like and awfully long time. So how about(hypothetically) a trillion years before creation GOD created something just to keep from getting bored.
1. GOD Is All in All; Self Contained, Self Existent, Self Contented. HE still existed alone for eternity before that. Of course there is no biblical record of anything before creation, so most of us believe that this is GOD’s sole creation. Eternity. Let’s try that again:

E T E R N I T Y

FATHER, SON, HOLY SPIRIT THREE-IN-ONE.
The vail of our flesh is a blinder. Any time we try to see the Holiness of GOD or any INFINITE aspect of GOD….but we are finite creatures. Any concept of eternity past with GOD without beginning is tough.[close parenthetic]

So What was the question? I have been writing for 2 hours now. It is 5:30 a.m.. Well, I was having trouble praising GOD. Seems to me he gave me an outlet to worship HIM and much to praise HIM in these past 2 plus hours.
FATHER has been FATHER for ETERNITY. Had a lot of experience. And HE got it right the first time.
I guess HE’ll do okay with me. (Matt 6:30) and here is where we started: Oh ye of little faith!…. let me try that again:
FATHER HAS BEEN AT IT A LONG TIME AND THE PERFECT FATHER FROM ETERNITY!
HE WILL NOT MAKE AN EXCEPTION IN MY CASE!
FOR I KNOW WHOM I HAVE BELEIVED. AND I AM PERSUADED THAT HE IS ABLE TO KEEP THAT WHICH I HAVE COMMITTED UNTO HIM AGAINST THAT DAY.
II TIMOTHY 1:12

Duane Watts
January 30, 1999

p.s. I have felt abandoned countless times since that day. Even this week in my manufacturing job, I’m asking the Lord ” am I going to be doing this for 48 hours every week counting every hour for the next 20 years?
God willing I will. And if that is where GOD wants me, I would not wish to be anywhere else, except with HIM.

In Christs Love, and with tears,
Duane

I am going through a dark night of my soul presently, I was laid off 6 months ago and there is still no job offer. There is a great book about this topic which I would like to recommend to all:

ISOLATION – A place of transformation in the life of a leader
By: Shelley Trebesch

-TC

In the comment I made on June 21st, I misspelled a word. I meant to say……
“butterfly story.” Oooooops! That was a great story that I’ll never forget about your girls. You should share that one again with your readers sometime.
It’s a KEEPER!!!

Diane

I’m so glad to hear you say that. You are a very honest and open person. When you’ve got questions or doubts, you say so.

I must admit, I feel bad for you when I read about your struggles. You’re such a neat guy with such a neat family. I just want you to experience the joy of the Lord daily. Whatever you’re going through, I just know you’ll come through it.

BTW…….. I miss getting those great “Truth In Love” teachings that you use to send out. THEY WERE GOOD!!! I always learned something from them. I also miss reading the little gyms that Wendy would write on the girls in those papers. If you ever start up again, let me know!!!

I see I misspelled a word above. It should have been “butterfly.”

Thanks for your friendly reply. I’ll say hi to Dale from you.

Enjoy the Lord each day because He loves you with an everlasting love and is at work in your life for good.

Your friend ALWAYS because of Jesus,
Diane

Good to hear from you!

Just so you know, to the best of my knowledge and recolection, I haven’t changed views on anything that I might have discussed with you. I am still thoroughly “FG”!

Say hello to Dale!

I don’t know where you are exactly today in you journey with God, but I am so thankful that He created you and brought you into my life when He did. You have been a help to me in the past. I still have those answers you gave me when you were so kind to give an answer as best you knew. And they were GOOD answers. Whatever you’ve changed your mind on, I want you to know that I care about you and your family. I KNOW God is with you and hasn’t forsaken you no matter what’s going on!!! And I don’t pretend to know!!!

I’m a “senior citizen” now (a nice way of saying “old”), and even in the days that God seems far away, I know He’s with me, loves me, and hasn’t left me. Today I said to my husband, I’m going to stop asking God to use me in future days for His glory. That’s almost like saying…… tomorrow God use me. I want Him to use me NOW….. TODAY!!! Even when I go through dark days, I want to be faithful to Him. I don’t want to wait until “future days” to serve Him.
So in your “dark days” just trust Him. If everything’s falling apart, trust Him anyway. He’s there for you TODAY, NOW!!! So whatever you’re going through, I’m praying that God will help you to see as He sees.

I keep remembering the butterful story Wendy told of your girls. I still have that little clipping and picture. It’s such a beautiful picture of God’s love and care for us.

Sorry to say a bunch of words that probably have no bearing on what you just printed, but you left me confused as to what was going on in your life, and I just wanted to say you’re important to me.

In Jesus’ love,
Diane