Imagine that you are a parent of a teenage son, and one day he comes home from school and blurts out, “I’ve started doing drugs. Am I going to hell?”
How do you answer?
What if he said, “A few years ago, someone at school gave me a Playboy, and I been masturbating to it several times a week. Am I going to hell?”
Or, “My girlfriend and I have been having sleeping together for about three months now. Am I going to hell?”
Most Christian parents, I think, would rightfully be alarmed at such confessions, but few would tell their son that he was going to hell. Most parents would seek to help him through these
But what instead, your son said, “For a few years now I’ve been attracted to other guys, and over the last few months, I’ve started having sex with another guy at school. We love each other very much. But someone told me today that unless I change, I’m going to hell. Are they right?”
Now how do you answer?
Most evangelical Christians, when confronted with this hypothetical scenario, respond by saying, “Oh, that would never happen with my son. You see, he had involved father, a mother who wasn’t domineering, and he was never sexually abused as a child. Studies prove that most gay men have had at least one of these things happen to them.”
This, of course, is not an explanation of how you would respond if your son “came out” to you, but is rather a denial of its possibility. It is a non-answer.
Which is why, I suppose, most Christian families are shocked and completely unprepared when such situations do happen to them. We have been caught unaware and unprepared. We never thought it would happen to us, and so we didn’t think about what we should do or say if and when it did.
However, in a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.
Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.
Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.
In his newly released book, Love is an Orientation (IVP, 2009), Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.
Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the “gayest straight person in the world.”
The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don’t judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying “Love the sinner; hate the sin” and referring to those in the GLBT community as “homosexuals.” Both, he explains, are derogatory.
One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:
- Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
- Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
- Can a GLBT person change?
- Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
- Are GLBT people going to hell?
I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don’t have room to reproduce the answers here…so I guess you’ll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.
