By Jeremy Myers Filed Under Gospel, Life, Mission Written on February 8, 2011

Gay and Christian

Free Book Offer! Read Below…

For people who are gay but who also want to follow Jesus, “coming out” to church people probably feels very close to what lepers felt in the days of Jesus when they first found out they had leprosy. A gay Christian often experiences the same rejection. People who used to love them now fear them. People who used to be friends now avoid them. People they don’t know condemn them.

And frequently today, just like then, after all the rejection and pat answers, gay Christians experience deep loneliness, shame, and fear. Sometimes they wonder if the religious people are right…maybe God is judging them. Maybe God is angry at them. Maybe God does hate them. Maybe they really are lepers.

Wesley Hill struggled with all of this. He is a gay Christian, and recently wrote a book called Washed and Waiting about the struggles and experiences he has faced. I don’t know what your viewpoint is on someone being gay and a Christian, but let me suggest that you read his book before you talk about the “choice” Wesley Hill made to be gay (he didn’t), or how his father was abusive or absent (he wasn’t), or how Wesley should just “man up” and fall in love with a woman (he’s tried), or get “cured” by reading the Bible and praying more (he probably reads the Bible and prays more than you or I).

He shares his story in the book, explaining how he struggled with living according to the Gospel as a gay person, and how he experiences deep loneliness and shame in nearly all of his relationships. I think that every person struggles with these same issues, whether or not we are gay, but from reading the book, it seems such struggles are amplified and magnified for gay Christians.

I’m not sure his answers will satisfy everyone (gay or not), but Wesley came to these conclusions:

The call of the Gospel is that he not fulfill his homoerotic sexual desires. Celibacy is the route Wesley has chosen.
The loneliness he feels can be alleviated in the same way it should be for all Christians: in a loving and trusting community of other followers of Jesus.
His homosexual orientation is not something to be ashamed of, but is a gift from God. God uses Wesley’s homosexuality as a way to love and bless other people–especially gay people–who do not know where they stand before God.

If you know someone who is gay and trying to follow Jesus, or simply want to understand the fear, pain, loneliness, and struggle that gay Christians feel, I highly recommend this book.

FREE BOOK OFFER: If you post a thoughtful reply to this post (not just “Nice post, Jeremy!”), or share a story about yourself, or how you are showing love and acceptance to gay people, I will enter you in a drawing on February 14 for a free copy of Washed and Waiting.

For everybody else, here is a Free Preview PDF.

Check out these related posts on Scripture, Theology, and Church:

Dances with Whores

Running Headlong into Hell

Our Deal with the Devil

Death to our Enemies?

This post has nothing to do with Washington's Birthday

Want to read more about Bible and Theology? Try one of these:

http://captainquaker.wordpress.com Captain Quaker

This book looks really interesting. I’m going to check it out.

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Captain Quaker,

Nice name…and nice blog.

Yes, it’s a good book. You can read the first chapter on pdf with the link above.

http://www.bobbyauner.blogspot.com Bobby

I’d like to read this book. Your review reminds me that when Jesus called the disciples to follow him they didn’t have it all together. They weren’t without sin. Some of them didn’t even believe or understand what he taugh, yet they followed. Jesus “put up with them”. I think this book would help me to put up with the shortcomings of others and spark a deeper desire to bear their burdens rather than adding baggage.

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Bobby,

Yes, none of us have it all together. I know I don’t!

David

How great is this!?!
The gay community thinks negatively about the body because instead of reaching out…we point them out. I have a friend who years ago had a strong faith in the Lord, but when he began to openly admit his sexuality, he stepped farther and farther away from it all. I love him dearly, and hate to see him turn away from Christ. I’m afraid we’re very selective of those involved when we mention the word revival. Christ died for every single one of us (while we were still sinners)…not just the ones that are easiest to love by our own standards! To think that we all meet Christ’s standards! An idea like this could spark a true revolution for the hearts of ALL of God’s children!

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

I agree. It is sad to hear about your friend. Is there any way of reconnecting with him?

David

Well, he and I haven’t necessarily grown apart as much as He has been discouraged from his faith in Christ. I plan to read Wesley’s book and maybe pass it along to him. Since I read your post about the book, God has really put him on my heart. I just hate the idea of throwing a book at him as if there’s a problem he has that a piece of literature can fix, so I plan to reach out to him, spend more time with him and make sure I’m not giving him reason to be anymore discouraged.

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Absolutely. You are on the right track.

I read your other comment about reading the Bible on Sunday mornings when you have to stay on campus. It might be that he would want to join you in this sometime. I find that LOTS of people who are not comfortable “going to church” still love to get together with others (whether Christian or not) and just read the talk about the Bible over coffee.

Flo

Jeremy, my wife and I have been friends with a gay man for a long time. He does attend our church, I do not know if he is a believer. We want to have that balance of care and concern without condemnation. That is a difficult balance. Our quest has been to ask God for help and to give us a good Biblical understanding of how to do and say the right thing at the right time. I may never say anything that is up to the Lord. Many of the guys I hang with have a pretty sad attitude toward the whole subject of gays. I find myself confronting them on occasion. Not because I think that the gay lifestyle is right I do not. But just how to love people no matter what and let God take care of the stuff we can not understand. Believe me there is much I do not under stand about homosexuality. I know this God love and want us to love all people and that is what I will work on doing. INHISMIGHTYGRIPOFGRACE

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

I am glad he feels welcome at your church. That is somewhat rare in churches today. Do you mind me asking what kind of church it is?

You are definitely doing the right thing when you “love people no matter what and let God take care of the stuff we cannot understand.”

Deegan Thaddaeus

As a gay Christian, I know firsthand how very difficult it is to struggle with your faith, attempting to become a part of the fellowship of Christ, while still dealing every day with your sexual desires and orientation.

And having gone through the “de-gay” programs not once, not twice, but in three separate occasions, only to be labeled a failure of the program, I must say that the road has been quite difficult for me.

My church shunned me, my parents fear for my immortal soul, and many of my friends left me. However, through all this I still held on the my relationship with Christ. He was the only One I could rely upon, and His love and mercy got me through each of these trials.

Today, I am in a loving relationship of over 7 years, and I do what I can to reach out the the GLBT community to share with them that they are loved by the God who created them.

I am overjoyed to see a book like this, and would love to use it to help reach out even more to my local and regional community.

http://www.tillhecomes.org Jeremy Myers

Deegan,

Thank you for sharing part of your story. I am glad that you are able to maintain your relationship with Jesus even though the church has shunned you. I am sorry that happened.

Out of curiosity, what do you think of Wesley Hill’s commitment to remaining celibate? Feel free to speak openly.

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