TILL HE COMES Blog

I remember when I thought that the most important thing about Good Friday is that it actually happened on a Thursday. Yes, I was one of the freaks of Christianity who got his kicks studying, debating, and teaching the finer points of theology that few people even knew existed, and fewer cared about. (For example, did you know Peter actually denied Christ SIX times? I can prove it!)

So I laughed when I recently read in Vince Antonucci’s new book, I Became a Christian, and All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt, that one reason he started to investigate Christianity was because of some old guy teaching on television about how research had proven that something actually occurred on Wednesday rather than Tuesday (pp. 11-12). Vince doesn’t remember what the event was, but I bet it had something to do with the Passion week. Scholars are always debating about the order of the events of this week, and what happened on which days. You will even hear some talking about the “missing day” of Jesus’ final week. I used to be one of those people. Of course, I didn’t have a “missing day” in my order of events, because for me, Good Friday happened on Thursday. I think I preached a sermon about this once. These are the things I cared about most.

More than the people in my church. More than my wife or kids.

Recently, I have begun to realize that a change has occurred in me. Much of what I once thought was so important, I now consider to be almost completely irrelevant. I have also found myself crying a lot. Yes, there, I said it. I am a man, and I cry. A lot. Maybe I’m emotionally imbalanced. Maybe I need some testosterone boosters. I don’t know.

These crying bouts have confused and concerned my wife. Three nights ago, as I was crying about something, she tenderly asked, “What is going through your head right now?” Blowing my nose, I sniffled, “I don’t know. This is all so confusing to me as well. I don’t understand it either. I’m not really thinking anything except, ‘Why in the world am I crying?’”

So I started to think more about it, and observed the times when I start to cry, then talk about it with my wife. I noticed I cry when I read or hear stories about people who have experienced great personal pain in life. I cry when I learn about people who lost a loved one, boys who were beaten or neglected by their father, girls who were molested or raped, women who were abandoned by their husband. Last night, when I shared this with Wendy, she said, “I think that while you used to love theology, you now love people.”

I think my wife may be right. I’ve even noticed changes in my reading patterns. It used to be that when I read books, I would underline and scribble all over the theology sections, and skip over or get annoyed at the stories the authors would include as illustrations. I saw such stories as a needless waste of words. Now, as I flip through books I’ve read over the past six months or so, I see that I have underlined and scribbled all over the stories, and left the “theology” portions nearly untouched. I want more stories. I find myself reading and re-reading them. I share them with my wife. I ask myself how I would respond (besides crying) to people who have such pain in their lives. I want to get to know these people whose lives are so full of pain. If possible, I want to soak up some of their pain, and share with them some of the love they so desperately need and which I have been given in abundance.

And I realized today, on Good Friday, that this is why Jesus died. Did He die for the “propitiation for the sins of the world”? Of course. Was it an “unlimited and substitutionary atonement”? Yes. But I believe that more than any of these theological truths, Jesus died to associate with us in our suffering, to understand our loneliness, and to soak up our pain.

His death was not primarily a theological event. It was the greatest act of love that ever occured in the history of the universe. Jesus died because He loves you.  

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When going into church planting, planters are advised to look up the demographics of the place they are thinking of planting in. Today, I found a site with a special set of demographics you won’t find anywhere else. If you want to reach into the guttes of life and find a place that needs the Gospel, a place filled with people who to be shown grace, love, kindness, and mercy, check out the following demographics studies by Forbes Magazine:

http://www.forbes.com/2008/02/14/cities-sinful-lander-forbeslife-cx_lm_0213sinful_land.html?partner=weekly_newsletter

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Ever wonder what a woman can get for a man on Valentine’s Day? The stores are full of things men can get a woman…chocolate, flowers, cards, jewelry…but there is nothing to get for a man. My wife says this is because Valentine’s Day is more for a woman than for a man. Of course, that’s because what a man wants can’t be sold in a store…but that’s all I’ll say about that.

Anyway, if you ladies really want to get a gift for your man, let me suggest the following:

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At the GlocalNet Church Planting conference last week, Bob Roberts made the following shocking statement:

“I think all Christians need to pray less. Instead, we need to just shut up and play ball.”

At first, I was shocked, because we so often hear that we need to pray more, and that the kingdom of God advances on our knees.

But then I got to thinking about it. I think that most of us substitute prayer for obedience. We know what we are supposed to do, and instead of doing it, we pray about it. I mean, every single one of knows that we are supposed to share Christ with our friends, coworkers, family members, and neighbors. But instead of actually doing that, most of us pray about it instead: “Dear God, please allow my unsaved boss to come to Jesus. Please save my neighbor. I’ve been praying so long for my father, God. Please draw him unto You.”

Does that prayer sound familiar? Listen to the prayer time in your church this Sunday, or in the Bible Study you attend. I guarantee that in most of these prayer times, someone will pray that God will help the people in your community to believe the Gospel, and have faith in Jesus. Then ask yourself, “What are we as a church, what am I as a Christian, actually doing to share the Gospel, and tell people why and how they can believe in Jesus?”

How about when someone is hurting, or sick, or in financial need? Do you pray about it, or do you actually help them? What do you think God wants you to do?

I am constantly haunted by a conversation I witnessed about five years ago between a father and his son. (The father was a pastor, by the way.) I was working at a Bible camp, and we needed some staff for the following week. The son asked the father if he could stay and help out. The father answered, “I’ll pray about it” and walked away. The son turned to me and said, “That means ‘No.’”

The son had his dad figured out. His dad was using prayer (and God) as a way to spiritualize his own decisions to not grant his son’s requests.

I wonder how often we treat the commands of God this way? Instead of just telling God “No” we tell him “I’ll pray about it.” Prayer, when used in such a way, is a spiritual way of stalling so we don’t have to obey God. The next time you catch yourself saying (or writing) to someone, “I’ll pray for you” stop and ask yourself if there is something you can actually do for the person instead.  

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I am by no means an expert on how to live a life of grace. Up until a few months ago, the entire focus of my life was to read, write, study, teach, and talk about grace. I did a very poor job living it. Yesterday, I suggested that the more a person talks and writes and proclaims grace, the less they seem to live it. That’s just my experience.

(So, with that being said, let me talk and write some more about grace!)

Here is how I am trying to learn to live a life of grace.

First, I started trying to figure out which sort of people were most often criticized, judged, and condemned by the churches, Christians, radio shows, books, and articles I interact with. These people made my mental “grace list.”

Second, I started praying to see these people as Jesus sees them, and to give me opportunities to get to know them. I suspected that it is much easier to judge a person’s bad theology or bad behavior if I don’t actually know them.

Finally, I began to actively seek out these people to get to know them and befriend them. I set up appointments. I scheduled lunch meetings. I applied for jobs with them so I could work with them and help them. I read their blogs, and interact with them by e-mail (all in a kind, gracious manner!).

I’m not going to tell you who I have been meeting with, but let me give you some examples of people you could try to develop relationships with: atheists, abortion doctors, homosexuals, pornographers, strippers, prostitutes, drug addicts, alcoholics, people who have different theological views than you do, people with different political views, etc. There are dozens more.

And by the way, if you are going to try to develop friendships with these people, don’t focus on the things that separate you. Your friendship will last about two seconds if you do that. Just try to get to know them as a person. Focus on the things you have in common. Try to find out everything you can about them, and who they are. Learn about their dreams, desires, and goals in life. Ask if there is any way you can help them or be of service to them. These are some ways you can live grace, which is the only way to truly teach it.

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Some days, I’m ashamed to be a Christian. Today is one of those days, and I want to issue a public apology to all people everywhere who were ever hurt, slandered, abused, or hated in the name of Christ. I am sorry for what has been done.

The reason I feel this way today is because of a website I ran across which is solely dedicated to spreading the terrible idea that the God of the Bible hates everybody. The site is so mean and hurtful and angry, I kept wondering if it was just a terrible, horrible, awful joke. I am not going to post the site, because I don’t want anybody to go to it. It is the most despicable, hateful, hurtful, angry, website I have ever come across, and it is all run by “Christians” who claim to be working for “the Gospel.”

One entire section of the site is geared toward helping Christians gather and picket people and businesses with signs that say “God hates _______ (fill in the blank).” I am astounded at the people and places they are planning on picketing, and the way they do it is despicable. They call such events “Picket Crusades.” It’s very reminiscent of the actual Crusades, except that swords and horses have been swapped out for signs and bullhorns.

Personally, I think God hates “Christians” who do such things. Maybe some of us other Christians should get a group together and go picket these picketers. We could write signs that say “God hates people who make signs that say ‘God hates _____ (fill in the blank).’” I’m jesting, but that would be quite a circus.

The truth is that while I feel very sorry for what has been done in the name of Jesus, I also feel very sorry for the people who do it. What is going on in their lives, hearts, and minds to cause them to say and do such things? I feel awful that they think this is the way God is. I wonder what can be done to show them the true love and grace of God?

Anybody want to start a ministry focused on reaching Christian picketers?

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God continues to teach us things in this crisis as we seek to learn in and through it.  

One things we have learned is something all of us know, but which was good for us to experience. God can take our anger. Wendy and I were discussing this and she talked about how it is just like our children. Children often get angry at their parents for not giving them something that they really wanted (like candy before dinner), or taking something away that they had (like a sharp knife). The parents, if they are good parents, do this because the parent sees the bigger picture and knows what is best. While we don’t enjoy having our children upset at us in such situations, we can handle their anger because we know that we did what was best.

Similarly, we are God’s children. As our Father, He sees the big picture and knows what is best for us. We may get angry and upset, and if we do, He can take it because He knows we just don’t understand. I don’t think such anger is sinful or carnal, but just anger from ignorance. I think God would rather have us come to him in anger than run from him in anger. Nor does he want us to be angry, but come to him as if nothing was wrong, becuase that’s not genuine.

Yesterday, one of my daughters was angry at me, and I couldn’t figure out why. As I tried to figure out what had happened, I gently probed her with questions. But rather than answer my questions, she just kept saying “Nothing!” No matter what I asked, that was her answer. I realized that this is how I am acting toward God if I don’t vent my anger to Him, and instead just clam up about what I am feeling.

The Psalmists all understood this, and in the Psalms, we encounter some of the most angry writing in all of Scripture, and much of it is directed at God. The Psalmists had raw emotions and were not afraid to vent at God.

God wants to be with us in our pain and anger, especially if He is the one who caused it. This is because going to Him when we are angry and frustrated at life and at Him is an indication of our love for Him.

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Wendy and I continue to face the biggest crisis of our adult (and married) lives, which when compared to the crises many people go through, may not seem like much of a crisis, to us it is pretty big. Though we have felt the whole gamut of emotions, we are still trusting God to get us through, and are learning some valuable lessons. At least, we think they are valuable… 

One of the primary things we have learned is that as Christians, we can learn a lot from non-Christians about how to take care of people who are facing times of crisis.

When you, or I, face a crisis, what is the typical Christian response? The normal Christian response when others are facing a crisis is to quote Bible verses and announce theological platitudes. We’ve all heard them: “God will never leave you nor forsake you.” “God is good, all the time.” “Jesus will be there for you. Just continue to depend and rely on Him.”

Contrast this with the normal non-Christian response. They don’t have Bible verses and theological truths to fall back on. So they fall back on the only thing they can fall back on…themselves. If they want to help, they offer to help. They give a listening ear. They sympathize. They can’t say, “God will provide for you,” so they provide for you. They can’t say, “God will be there for you,” so they try to be there for you. They can’t say, “Take it to Jesus. He can handle it for you,” so instead they say, “I know it hurts. Life sometimes stinks. I’m here to listen or just sit with you.”

This doesn’t mean those verses and theological statements are not true, but that in a crisis, they are not very helpful. In fact, I think that many times, we Christians use Bible verses and theology quotes as an excuse for not helping. But in the (paraphrased and amplified) words of James, “If a brother or sister is without food and clothing, and one of you says, ‘Be warm and well fed. God will provide for you. I’m praying for you. Just have faith.’ but you don’t do anything to help clothe or feed the person, of what use is that?” James is saying that if you are going to pray for a person, or pronounce theological truths, back up those words with some action.

When someone is facing a crisis, act like a non-Christian and pretend you don’t have helpful Bible verses and handy theological clichés to toss around. Instead, actually do something helpful. If nothing else, just offer to listen without lending advice.

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Yes, there are problems with the Guatemala adoption process, so it is a good thing that the government is fixing and updating the adoption laws.

But, there are 370,000 orphans in Guatemala. An estimated 30,000 die every year. Of those who do not, many go into crime or prostitution. Hopefully, the new adoption laws will fix the corruption, but also make it easier for legal adoptions to continue.

See a previous post about this if you want to learn more about what Wendy and I are doing.

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A critic paid me quite a compliment today when he accused me of befriending and conversing with atheists and people who use the “F-word.” If only he knew the truth…

…but I’ve got nothing to hide, so I’ll share it: My wife invited a lesbian couple over to dinner a while back. They haven’t accepted yet, but we are hoping they will. Wendy says that if I ever meet some prostitutes or strippers, I can invite them over too. I have not met any yet (and I’m not going to the places they tend to hang out), but maybe one day I will. I gave a $50 Burger King card to a drunk on the street a month ago. If I had the time, I would have gone and eaten with him. I keep looking for him at his corner but haven’t seen him yet. Before coming to seminary, we let an alleged murderer stay in our house for six weeks while he was on house-arrest. All of his friends and family members abandoned him when it looked like he was guilty, so we took him in. It was one of the best six weeks of my life.

So not only am I trying to make friends with Atheists, Agnostics, and people who use rough language, I am also trying to befriend homosexuals, prostitutes, strippers, drunks, and murderers.

And to tell you the truth, I’ve never felt closer to Jesus. I believe that if Jesus were walking the earth today, he would befriend and converse with these people too. Of course, the Pharisees and religious hypocrites would get upset at him today, just as they did 2000 years ago: “Gasp! Jesus is eating with tax collectors and sinners! Doesn’t he know what they’ve done?” (Read Matt 9:11; 11:19; Mark 2:15-16).

Yes, he does know. That’s why he eats with them. That’s why I eat with them too…. Not because I’m “holy like Jesus,” but because I’m one of those “sinners.” I hope that if Jesus were walking around today, he would come up to me and say, “Hey! I’m having a BBQ over at my place for sinners. Want to come?”

If he were to ask you that question, what would you say?

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