TILL HE COMES Blog

I vividly remember the first Father’s Day sermon I ever preached. As I tried to figure out what to preach on, I remembered that someone told me that there were no examples of perfectly good fathers in Scripture (other than God). In other words, every father in Scripture who is given more than just a brief mention, had serious moral failures and shortcomings. They were all flawed.

So since there probably weren’t any fathers in Scripture that were good examples of how to be a father, I decided to preach on the worst father in Scripture–Lot. So that is what I did. I called it “The Worst Father’s Day Sermon Ever.” And wow, was it bad! It is not a sermon you will ever find in my podcast. I remember looking out as I preached seeing all the mothers and fathers staring at me with that “deer in the headlights” look, eyes wide open, mouth agape. Some of the mothers were covering the ears of their children. It was bad.

After the sermon, not one person even tried to be nice about the message by saying “Nice sermon, pastor.” I only had one man make one comment about the message. He came up to me afterwards and said, “Well, one thing is for sure. That truly was the worst father’s day sermon ever.” He was a good friend of mine, so we both laughed about it, but the truth is that I felt pretty ashamed. I still do.

But ironically, this sort of thing happens every year on Father’s Day in churches across the country. The sermons that are preached from our pulpits may not be as bad as mine was, but most Father’s Day sermons tend to beat up on dads rather than encourage them and challenge them to dream big, take risks for God, embark on an adventure, charge ahead, and be a man! Instead, we beat them over the head with everything they are doing wrong.

I’m reading the excellent book How Women Help Men Find God by David Murrow (I will post a review of it when I’m finished), and in the book he quotes Dr. Kevin Leman as saying:

Not only are men supposed to attend morning Bible studies, but they’re supposed to get home in time for dinner, spend time alone with each child, date their wives once a week, and earn enough money so that their wives can stay home with their young children. This is a heavy load, and some Christian men start to resent it” (p. 37).

Then Murrow quotes Nancy Wray Gegoire who said this:

I’ve often noticed that sermons on Mother’s Day tend to gush over moms, while on Father’s Day they tell dads to shape up” (p. 37).

Just yesterday, I read the following over at the Church for Men blog:

Mother’s Day: A day devoted to honoring moms.
Father’s Day: A day to beat up men for not doing a better job!

So I hope that this Sunday, you are able to honor, bless, and encourage the men in your church. If you want to learn how to challenge men to action, I recommend the books by David Murrow and John Eldredge. And whatever you do, don’t preach on Lot.

P.S. My “Lot Sermon” was my third worst sermon ever. My WORST sermon was at a wedding. Some day I’ll tell you about it. I hope that couple is still together, but if not, they can blame me for starting out their marriage on the wrong foot. Yes, it was that bad.

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I did something today which I have never done before in my entire life, and I’m pretty ashamed of myself. And on Easter Sunday of all days! I feel so bad, I don’t think I will ever do it again. Maybe.

So, I figured “Where better to air my dirty laundry than on a public blog?”

What did I do?

I lifted a sermon. Stole it. Yes, I preached someone else’s Easter message.

I’m not going to tell you whose it was, where I got it, or what it was about. But one thing I do know, is that it was by far the worst sermon I have ever preached in my entire life. When I first read it earlier this week, I thought, “Well, that’s creative, interesting, memorable. Nice stories. Nice application. Nice three-point outline.” So I copy-pasted it into Word, made a few tweaks, and voila! my Easter sermon. 

But when I got up to preach it today, I was bored out of my mind within five minutes. And I could tell the congregation was too. I have never seen so many people looking back at the clock and checking their watch. I realized that it is impossible for me to preach someone else’s sermon, no matter how good it was when they preached it. I am not them, and cannot preach the way they do, and I have trouble getting excited or passionate about something that I didn’t research and write.

And the worst thing about it is that today was Easter! Attendance was up by about 50%, so there were several people in church who haven’t been there since last Easter. And today, of all days, I decide to preach the worst sermon in the history of the world.

So, I’m ashamed. I’m sorry, church members! I’m sorry, Jesus.

I’m sorry that on this, the most important day of the year, I failed.

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I’m attending a church planting conference on April 24-27 called Exposed, and I’m looking forward to it more than any other church planting conference I’ve been to. Here’s why:

First, they are limiting attendance to only 20-30. I’ve been to many church planting and church growth conferences over the years, and though it is exciting to be part of conferences with 100’s (or 1000’s) of people in attendance, I always feel a bit…lost. In big conferences, to those who are teaching, I’m just another face in a huge crowd. To those who are attending, I’m just some other guy who they will never meet again. But at Exposed, I imagine I will get to know the speakers and the others in attendance in a way not possible at other conferences. Who knows? Maybe I will even develop some friendships with other church planters, and we can partner with each other in the future.

Second, the conference is being hosted by Square 1 Church Planting, which was founded by two guys (Joe Centrino and Stephen Hammond) who have actually planted churches and are still pastoring churches. Not only that, they haven’t written books (yet), or been invited to the White House, or raised $4 million in four weeks, or seen their church go from 50 to 5000 in 5 years. While some of this may happen to them in the future (it could!) right now, it’s just two guys in the midst of church planting who want to help others plant too. Sometimes, I think the “big name” church planting gurus have forgotten (or never experienced in the first place) some of the sweat and blood struggles of planting a church. But Joe and Stephen have been through it all.

Third, Square 1 is about planting Missional Churches. Missional churches want to do more than just have big buildings and Bible studies, but instead want to embrace culture so it can be redeemed and transformed by the love of Jesus. Missional churches are churches that are on a mission to see the Gospel actually change lives. If all we do is talk, read, learn, and write about the Gospel, I don’t think we really understand it. Missional churches are trying to live the Gospel.

Finally, rather than just sit around and listen to speakers speak, we are actually going to go out and have some fun together! On Friday, our wives get to go shopping together, while we guys enjoy some male bonding. That night, all of us are going to attend a Texas Ranger Baseball game. Try doing that at Exponential!

Space is really limited for this conference, so if you want to go, contact me for a brochure, or contact Joe and Stephen at Square 1.

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I have certain Bible teachers that I listen to all the time, some for the content, some for their style and delivery. But today, I found one who has it all. His sermon is 27 minutes long, and is on YouTube for you to view. It is in three parts, so make sure you watch all three!

After watching these videos, you will see that Seminary was a complete waste of time for me. Really, all I need to preach is the following things:

1. (Mis)read several Bible verses.
2. Say “Glory be to God Hallelujah” a lot.
3. Speak in tongues when I get tongue tied.
4. Tell Satan to get behind me.
5. Wave my arms.
6. Tell people they’re going to hell if they don’t tithe.

Well, I shouldn’t be too hard on the guy. It’s his first sermon after all. My first sermon was terrible as well. But still, if you ever wonder why many people think church is just a religious circus, it because of guys like this.

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I preached my LAST seminary sermon today. Yay! Though I have learned a lot about preaching while I am in seminary, I hope I can forget most of it. If I had to preach for the rest of my life within the box that is the seminary sermon, I would quit the ministry. Sadly, I think most of my fellow students don’t understand that what they are providing here is a bare bones template, and we have to add in our own personality and creativity to make preaching come alive. Such students preach predicable three point sermons every week, boring themselves and their congregations into spiritual sterility.

Seeds of God’s Word are being flung out there, but the seeds are impotent to reproduce disciples. Part of this is because too many pastors get their sermons from a can, and present them to a sitting, smiling, and nodding audience (maybe they’re nodding off). Adding more stories and jokes is not going to help. It may help people pay attention, but keeping their attention is not the same thing as making disciples. Some have tried shorter sermons, while others go for longer sermons. Some go for topical series, while others do “exposition.” None of it seems to be working very well.

It’s a cop out to say (as I’ve heard some pastors say) that “Results are not up to us. We just need to preach the Word and leave the rest up to God.” This is an excuse to not face the hard questions.

So I wonder if it isn’t time to reexamine “The Sermon.” This is something I fear to do, because frankly, I LOVE to preach. Preaching is one of the aspects of pastoral ministry I enjoy the most. I am not sure I would enjoy pastoral ministry if I wasn’t able to preach (maybe that says something about my heart…).

But I’ll put off that examination until tomorrow, since I don’t want to face the music today.

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My friend Kyle wants to plant a church called “St. Pete’s Church Bar and Grill.” It would be rather convenient for communion since the wine is close by, and you wouldn’t have guys getting antsy about getting home to watch the football game. Kyle isn’t joking about this (I think).

I attended a church this past weekend that was very similar to what he had in mind. The church is called Narrow Trail Church and meets outside in the beer garden of a local restaurant. Having previously pastored in Montana, I immediately felt at home when I walked in since most of the people were wearing cowboy hats, boots, wranglers, and big belt buckles. One bearded, heavily tattooed guy drove up on his Harley.

I showed up at 9am for their free breakfast and sat by a young couple who hadn’t been in church for three or four years but decided to check out the church that meets in a bar because “It’s not churchy.” Looking around, I knew what they meant. Where else can you attend church with one hundred neon beer signs but only one cross? However, as I was later reminded, “One cross is all you need.

As I ate, I had a dozen or so people come up and welcome me. I was back in an area of the beer garden that was hard to reach, so one guy got up and just walked across the top of the tables so he could come greet me. That’s another thing you won’t see in the average church—people walking on the pews just to go greet a visitor. Since this church meets outside, I asked what they do in bad weather, and the guy proudly informed me that “rain or snow this is where they meet.” This is, after all, a cowboy church, and they are “tough as nails.” Part of the beer garden was covered, and so my guess is that when bad weather comes, they just gather under the covered area.

The beginning of the service did not begin with a “Welcome” but we did have a “Howdy.” They had a few announcements and then the musician sang. The music was country western, and the songs weren’t really they type that people sang along to. It was more like you were in a bar listening to the house band. Considering the crowd that was there, I think this was a good idea since most of the people didn’t appear to be the singing type. This isn’t an insult; it’s just that some people don’t feel comfortable singing.

I did notice that when the music leader got up to sing, he had a Starbucks coffee in one hand. If you read my post on the Emergent Immersion, you will know why this is funny to me. It seems like all singers, songwriters, and artists drink Starbucks. I half expected him to pull out an iPhone. Of course, he probably drank Starbucks becuase the free coffee was pretty bad. I met the guy who proudly told me he made the coffee, but then confessed he can’t stand to drink coffee. (Note to all churches: The person who volunteers to make the coffee should be somone who actually drinks coffee). So anyway, Starbucks and all, the songs were good quality, and since I like country music, found myself tapping my foot along to the music. I guess the musician has some CDs out, but I can’t remember his name…

After the music, the pastor got up to preach. I had met him when I first walked into the beer garden, and he introduced himself at John Myers. I don’t think there is any relation to me. But he did graduate from Dallas Theological Seminary, so I guess I’m on the right track. Speaking of tracks, as soon as he got up to preach, we heard a train whistle off in the distance. He said, “Well, I guess I’ll wait for the train.”

It didn’t take me long to find out what he meant. About thirty seconds later, the train came rumbling by not twenty feet from where we were seated, blowing its whistle and drowning out anything the pastor could have been saying. Not many pastors have to deal with trains coming through their church before they preach, but everybody took it in stride.

Once the train was gone, the pastor taught for about thirty minutes from John 15. His sermon was not full of Christian lingo and theological jargon, but was clear, simple, and down to earth. He peppered his sermon with cowboy terms like “get ‘er done,” “have at it,” and “ain’t.” He even used a word in his sermon which would offend the gentler ears of most Christians, but seemed right at home with this group.

When he was done, they closed out the service with a few more songs and then a rousing rendition of “Happy Trails to You.” On my way out, one man stopped me and asked if I would like to start teaching Sunday School next week. He either didn’t know I was a visitor, or wasn’t serious. I hope it was the latter because it’s probably not a good idea to ask visitors to teach Sunday School.

All in all, I really enjoyed this church and felt more at home than I have in a while. I felt welcome and I was instructed and challenged by the teaching of the Word. May churches like this flourish across America where the theology is conservative and the preaching is strong, but the church is flexible enough to meet the people where they are at.

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I came across this today, and thought it was a good reminder for all of us who devote our lives to studying and teaching the Word of God.

Martin Luther, in his lifetime, was not very popular. In fact, he was condemned as a heretic by the Catholic church. But here is what Martin Luther said about speaking for God. He said there are nine things every prophet, every teacher of the Word, every pastor should seek to do.

1. To teach the Word systematically.
2. To have a ready wit.
3. To be eloquent.
4. To have a good voice.
5. To have good memory.
6. To know when to make an end.
7. To be sure of his doctrine.
8. To engage body, blood, wealth and honor in the Word.

And 9th, this one is the key to it all, he should suffer himself to be mocked and jeered by everyone.

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