Is Your Church Worse than Porn? (Part 2)
Mar 13th 2008Jeremy MyersChurch & Life
Yesterday, I introduced the idea that in some ways, church can be worse than porn. The reason is that while porn causes people to feel inadequate with their sex life, many churches cause people to feel inadequate about their spiritual life. Both are presenting a fantasy that does not match reality. Today, (with a head nod to Jeff Foxworthy) I want to present some signs that you might be in a fantasy church.
You may be in a fantasy church…
If everybody in your church seems happy, fulfilled, and satisfied…all the time.
If during the greeting time, someone asks you how you are doing, and when you answer “Terrible” they smile, nod their head, and say, “That’s nice.” (This actually happened to my wife!)
If you are in a church where everybody seems to have devotions every day, their prayers answered in miraculous ways, and seem to be always talking about God.
If you are in a church where people never seem to sin, have fights with their spouse, get speeding tickets, have trouble with lust or alcohol, or have questions and doubts about what the pastor preaches.
(If you can think of others, please post them in the comments below!)
If you find yourself in a fantasy church, beware!
Trying to be real and authentic in such a place will only get you hurt more deeply. The best thing a person can do who finds themselves in a fantasy church is to leave quietly and find a group of people with whom they can be authentic, open, and honest (even if they are not all Christians!).
My favorite Christian music group, Casting Crowns, has experienced this also, and sings about it in their song “Stained Glass Masquerade”:
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Missy on 14 Mar 2008 at 2:50 pm #
I find the hardest part is attempting to BE authentic, open, and honest yourself to test this.
You have some good lessons, Jeremy - and your wife is pretty cool. I enjoy your blog.
Jeremy Myers on 14 Mar 2008 at 4:08 pm #
Missy,
Yeah, I actually would not recommend trying to be authentic in most churches. I would only try it if they proclaim that they value authenticity, and then, “experiment” on the pastor or in a small group. Open up with the pastor or in the small group and see what happens. If they judge, criticize, condemn, and cast you out, you know their claim to authenticity was a marketing ploy. If instead, you are loved, accepted, welcomed and helped, you may have found a genuinely authentic body of believers. If so, stick close to that group!
Missy on 16 Mar 2008 at 5:49 pm #
Thanks, Jeremy, I have found it twice and I plan to stick close to both (we moved). After the encouragement I got at the first church, I made a commitment to just be open - regardless of the consequences, and it paid off. I actually recommend trying authenticity whether you think it will be recieved well or not. While we wait for the “right” crowd, a lot of hurting people fall through the cracks. Unfortunately there seems to be a large mission field right in our very congregations.
God bless you, brother.
Missy
Jeremy Myers on 16 Mar 2008 at 6:33 pm #
Missy,
Wow. You are braver than I! But you are right. Authenticity is worth it, even if you get stung a few times. Thanks for the challenge.